Dispatches From Noir

I reviewed this thriller for CFL, and enjoyed it immensely. If...

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 11:39:00 -0400

I reviewed this thriller for CFL, and enjoyed it immensely. If you like fast-paced suspense, then this is a book you should pick up.

But don’t just take my word for it. Go read the review, then take my word for it.

Booze, broads, bullying and brawls, thought Morg. These are a...

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 11:13:04 -0400

Booze, broads, bullying and brawls, thought Morg. These are a few of my favorite things.

I’m not sure if I buy Joe Mantegna as a Bostonian. Still,...

Wed, 29 May 2013 12:00:02 -0400

I’m not sure if I buy Joe Mantegna as a Bostonian. Still, this was a decent telefilm. Mantegna is arguably closer to Parker’s Spenser than Robert Urich was.

Internal Security by David Darracott is my latest review over at...

Fri, 24 May 2013 17:53:00 -0400

Internal Security by David Darracott is my latest review over at Crime Fiction Lover. If you happen to be jonesing for a left-leaning Ayn Rand, then Internal Security is the book for you. Lest readers think I’m being prejudicial or partisan, let me hasten to add that this is no more problematic than a (or the original) right-leaning Ayn Rand. Preachy novels are not my bag, but it’s a serviceable thriller nonetheless.

But don’t just take my word for it. Go read the review, then take my word for it.

Tiger Mann on Women

Fri, 24 May 2013 17:34:56 -0400

“You seem to like long engagements, Tiger.” She wasn’t smiling now.

I said, “When it’s over. When we can walk and breathe without smelling death all the time or knowing the world is sitting on the lip of disaster. I don’t want you a widow before you’re married.”

“How do you know what I want, darling?”

“Oh, sure, you’ll take me now because you’re a broad and all broads want it now regardless of the consequences, but I’m not letting you stick your neck out in the middle of a mess like this. Crazy broad.”

“I despise that word.”

“You do? Well, you wear it well, baby. It’s a sign that you’re more than a woman. You’re a doll with everything going for her from a beautiful face to a wild body with a mind to match and I love you like hell. You have capabilities only I can appreciate and I want them all.”

[…]

“Do you always have to be like this?”

I paused in the middle of tucking my shirttail in. “You want me any other way?”

“Sometimes I think so.”

“Then screw you too, baby.”

Her face went flat, the pain of my words knocking the expression from it. “You didn’t have to say that.”

“No? Then keep out of my business. Otherwise you stop being a broad and become a dame. I’ll do what I want to do and sometimes what I have to do. One thing I won’t do is succumb to the sentimentality or the wishful thinking of a woman. When I’m working, stay off my back. You know my business so don’t try to steer me clear. The woman isn’t born and her mother’s already dead that can do that trick. I’ll run things my own way and if you don’t give me credit for being an old soldier type with twenty years over your fair head, then regroup your forces, kid, and find another guy who will bow and scrape and do it when you tell him to go potty. Clear?”

—Mickey Spillane in The By-Pass Control

I think the above illustrates the point in my reply to an ask from not long ago (also reproduced below by request). Granted, espionage master Tiger Mann is the protagonist of this Spillane volume, rather than PI Mike Hammer. But does anyone this Tiger says anything here that Hammer wouldn’t?

I can’t think of any corresponding passage in the works of Raymond Chandler, but please do let me know if there is one and I’ve missed it.

Anonymous asked: What do you think of the role of women in The Big Sleep? Do you think Marlowe’s Cynicism has anything to do with the way he views women?

This is an interesting question and once again confirms that I have (in the words of ordinarywonder) “the most well read, intelligent anons.” I’m a bit mystified why anyone would ask such literate question anonymously, but I’m happy to answer all the same.

I think the role of women in Chandler’s novel’s is a product of cynicism rather than any prejudicial view of women. Arguably that is not the case with all hardboiled fiction. Spillane’s Mike Hammer takes some glee in the objectification of women. And Travis McGee is a white knight who helps damsels in distress. He not only vanquishes their tormentors, he can also cure all their hang-ups if they sleep with him.

But I don’t find that in Chandler. The women are pretty much like the men. They all have an angle, and Marlowe’s unique virtue is that he is too stubborn to be a cog in anyone’s wheel. He’s suspicious of everyone and resolutely self-contained.

The women Marlowe comes across are unsavory, no doubt. But are they all that different from the men? In much of hardboiled crime fiction, I think so. In Chandler’s case, I don’t think so.

I could be overlooking something, however. Feel free to let me know what I missed. And you might be interested in this profile of Chandler I wrote for Crime Fiction Lover last summer.

It wasn’t as if I intended to start my golden years early....

Thu, 23 May 2013 13:38:36 -0400

It wasn’t as if I intended to start my golden years early. Several decades early. But I had free time. All dressed up in a tweed jacket and vintage tie. All dressed up and no place to go. Except the thrift stores, antique shops and second-hand bookstores. So I wandered around town.

The antique shop was like any other antique shop. Loads of crap piled on cabinets, tables and bookshelves. Some of it was interesting crap. I hardly ever see a genuine straw skimmer anymore. I want one, but I didn’t want to pay $70 for one that was too small. So I kept looking. I found the cane in an umbrella stand. I didn’t need it. Still don’t. But I liked twirling it casually by the crooked handle. So I got it. For $7. Too bad the skimmer didn’t work out.

Then I was off down the street to the used bookstore. I twirled my cane as I went. God knows I don’t need more books. I have more than I can possibly read or store right now. But that never stops me. Fortunately for me, the bookstore was running low on quality literature. But I snap up anything I can find by John D. MacDonald. I love Travis McGee, but MacDonald’s other stuff is equally good. This was a non-McGee book called A Key to the Suite. For $2.50. Sold.

I tucked the book into my jacket pocket and strolled down the street twirling my cane. It occurred to me that I had jumped the gun. I was a little young to be a tweedy cane-carrier. With a book more than 50 years old, no less. But I wasn’t too concerned. The time will come. I’ll need a cane. And I’ll still be a gent with a necktie and a book in his pocket. Just an old gent by then. Might as well practice.

Life's a Gyp, Kid

Wed, 22 May 2013 11:54:00 -0400

Morg Malden ambled into his tiny living room from his even tinier bedroom. Eleven o’clock. Good thing he didn’t have anything pressing today. Or the next day. Or the day after that. He’d have to do something, sooner or later. But he’d get to that.

Breakfast first. Morg flipped open a pizza box lying on the floor since the night before. God damn. Ants. This shouldn’t have been surprising. But Morg had been leaving pizza sitting on the floor overnight at least weekly for the past several years. Never had any problems. Oh, well. Live and learn. But he’d have to get that pizza out of here. Otherwise ants would just continue to congregate in the middle of the tatty carpet.

He threw out his breakfast, lunch and dinner, cursing at himself as he did. Now breakfast would be just beer. He thought back to his late grandfather. It was hard to believe Morg had been a kid. But he had. And his toy had broken. His grandfather had shrugged. “Life’s a gyp, kid.” That’s probably offensive now, Morg thought. Not that his grandfather would have cared.

Morg ambled over to the refrigerator. No pizza, no grandpa and nothing in the refrigerator besides beer. Oh, he had memories. Memories of his grandfather and memories of the pizza. Fat lot of good that did him. He reached for a cheap beer and cracked it open. Here was breakfast. He raised the open bottle to toast no one in particular. Life’s a gyp, kid.

jordangibson: “My disguise must strike terror. I must be black....

Tue, 21 May 2013 11:19:18 -0400

jordangibson:

“My disguise must strike terror. I must be black. Terrible. Criminals are a superstitious cowardly lot. I must be a creature. I must be a creature of the night.”

Updating James Bond to the 1980s was probably a novel idea at...

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:00:46 -0400

Updating James Bond to the 1980s was probably a novel idea at the time. But now it doesn’t make so much sense. Like the more recent Carte Blanche, No Deals, Mr. Bond is a decent thriller. Jeffrey Deaver’s Bond will probably be much more dated in 25 years than Gardner’s Bond works are today. Still, I can’t bring myself to approve of updating the literary (hardboiled, Tory pulp hero) Bond to the “present day”—whenever that happens to be.

What do you think of the role of women in The Big Sleep? Do you think Marlowe's Cynicism has anything to do with the way he views women?

Fri, 17 May 2013 12:51:00 -0400

This is an interesting question and once again confirms that I have (in the words of ordinarywonder) “the most well read, intelligent anons.” I’m a bit mystified why anyone would ask such literate question anonymously, but I’m happy to answer all the same.

I think the role of women in Chandler’s novel’s is a product of cynicism rather than any prejudicial view of women. Arguably that is not the case with all hardboiled fiction. Spillane’s Mike Hammer takes some glee in the objectification of women. And Travis McGee is a white knight who helps damsels in distress. He not only vanquishes their tormentors, he can also cure all their hang-ups if they sleep with him.

But I don’t find that in Chandler. The women are pretty much like the men. They all have an angle, and Marlowe’s unique virtue is that he is too stubborn to be a cog in anyone’s wheel. He’s suspicious of everyone and resolutely self-contained.

The women Marlowe comes across are unsavory, no doubt. But are they all that different from the men? In much of hardboiled crime fiction, I think so. In Chandler’s case, I don’t think so.

I could be overlooking something, however. Feel free to let me know what I missed. And you might be interested in this profile of Chandler I wrote for Crime Fiction Lover last summer.

The semester is over, and I’m decompressing with Harry...

Wed, 15 May 2013 11:25:29 -0400

The semester is over, and I’m decompressing with Harry Harrison’s anarchically humorous sci-fi. Fans of pulp literature may recognize Harrison as the ghostwriter of Vendetta for the Saint, the first which series originator Leslie Charteris did not write himself.

But here Harrison in on his own terms, with his own hero. This is certainly not hardboiled, not by a long shot. But it’s solidly entertaining pulp. Harrison has a breezy, quick-witted style that makes Slippery Jim (a.k.a. The Stainless Steel Rat, a.k.a. James Bolivar DiGriz) a quickly endearing hero.

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t accept an...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:27:41 -0400

I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t accept an insurance claim from this company.

Bridges

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 14:45:46 -0400

They tell you never to burn bridges. The investigation isn’t about you. Act respectfully when you’re questioning someone. You may need to get a little rough sometimes, but apologize after you get what you need. Honey gets more flies than vinegar and all that.

It’s a good idea. So I try to do do it that way. But sometimes good ideas just get stretched to the breaking point. This broad just wanted to lecture me. The workers were all oppressed. It was all about power, I had to realize that. All I knew was that one worker’s head had been oppressed by a very large wrench. I’d figure out all the oppression in the rest of the world later.

She didn’t like my priorities, but I needed priorities in my line of work. She said she didn’t plan on getting a job and submitting to the oppression. She wouldn’t get a job, that much was for sure.

They say not to burn bridges. They don’t say what to do if you don’t wanna cross those bridges ever again.They don’t tell you what to do with a bridge that doesn’t go anywhere. All good ideas have exceptions. She was a two-bit cunt. So I told her so.

Robert B. Parker revitalized private eye fiction in the 1970s,...

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 14:41:00 -0500

Robert B. Parker revitalized private eye fiction in the 1970s, and this new anthology pays tribute to the modern master of the genre. And what do you know, I was lucky enough to get a chance to review it for Crime Fiction Lover. The contributors in this book include new Spenser author Ace Atkins, Dennis Lehane, Lawrence Block, Ed Gorman and other crime fiction titans.

But don’t just take my word for it. Go read the review, then take my word for it.

It’s no secret that John D. MacDonald is one of my...

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 13:22:42 -0500

It’s no secret that John D. MacDonald is one of my hardboiled favorites. Random House is reprinting his Travis McGee novels, and I thought I’d take the opportunity to talk about McGee’s (and MacDonald’s) place in hardboiled literature. So head on over to CFL for a “review” (such as it is) of The Deep Blue Good-by and a discussion of McGee—a beach bum and rather unqiue hardboiled hero.

Also, before you rush over to CFL, take a moment to admire the pulp art of Robert McGinnis, who illustrated a great many John D. MacDonald covers (both McGee books and standalones). McGinnis was every bit the master that MacDonald was, and the pairing is inspired. It’s like a pulpy seal of quality if I find an old paperback with John D. MacDonald’s name on it and cover art by Robert McGinnis.

But don’t just take my word for it. Go read the review, then take my word for it.

This smashing illustration from Tony Fleecs left me with just...

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 12:59:00 -0500

This smashing illustration from Tony Fleecs left me with just two questions:

Why isn’t this a real book?
Why aren’t there pulpy Valentines?

Because I want both.

This slim volume was haunting, thought-provoking and brutal....

Wed, 13 Feb 2013 22:58:00 -0500

This slim volume was haunting, thought-provoking and brutal. It’s also my latest review on Crime Fiction Lover. Helmick skillfully serves up noir fatalism and stifling frustration on the Georgia blacktop. If Rod Serling were alive, he’d be jealous he didn’t think of this plot for The Twilight Zone.

But don’t just take my word for it. Go read the review, then take my word for it.

L.A.-based P.I. Shell Scott has a change of scenery when he goes...

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 11:21:50 -0500

L.A.-based P.I. Shell Scott has a change of scenery when he goes to (the fictional) Verde Island. Instead of the usual assortment of syndicate tough guys, Scott must go up against a voodoo priest.

Have you ever played LA Noire?

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:52:00 -0500

Ah, an anon who isn’t totally ridiculous!

I actually have not, though i am curious about it and tempted to play it. But I play video games very infrequently (as in half a dozen times in my life). And every video game commercial I see is ridiculous to the point of being hilarious.

But L.A. Noire might very well (and should!) be better than the homicidal pandas I see crashing around commercials for some other game. Or the Ninja guy fighting the redcoats? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Do grown men really pay attention to this stuff?

Anyone else play L.A. Noire and have any recommendations? And what’s with the misspelling?

Which Marlowe did you prefer? Bogart or Powell?

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:41:00 -0500

Bogart over Powell for me. But as much as I love the Bogart hero, there is little in Bogie’s portrayal of Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe to differentiate two very different characters. My favorite Marlowe on screen is Powers Boothe from HBO’s Philip Marlowe, Private Eye.